I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We're facebook friends in real life
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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