I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i believe in u and ur pee
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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