loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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