Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
