i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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