I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
