very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
