He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
