Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
