I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
