: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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