...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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