she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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