party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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