I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
