This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
