It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
