Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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