Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
