Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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