it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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