after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
