He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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