billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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