i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
