that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize