youre lurking in front of me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
