Your face is a jimmy john
Sponge bath it is.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
