Buhtt sex?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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