I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize