just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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