whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
