How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
