Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
