They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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