i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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