i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
