Acid is not a monday night drug
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
