Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
how drunk are you?
Several
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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