hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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