butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
