do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
