Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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