Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
