is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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