he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
