it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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