I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it wasn't lemon gatorade
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
