why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
