6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
