Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
