Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
