Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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