called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
