3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
