Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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