Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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