Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
