Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
