Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
