Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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