I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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